Do Lesbians Really Scissor?

It is a commonly accepted narrative amongst society that when two womxn have sex, scissoring is involved. “Lesbian Scissoring” is a category in itself on many of the top pornographic websites, and “Lesbian” has been found to be the top researched category by all genders (yes, even by straight womxn!) in the last ten years.

Scissoring is referenced not only in pornography, but also in mainstream media. South Park's D-Yikes episode (season 11, ep.6) sees “Janet” (formerly known as Mr Garrison) mentioning scissoring to every lesbian she meets and then, during a fist fight with another lesbian at the bar, she starts scissoring her rival. Can't say I've ever been there, Janet. In 2016, the South Korean erotic psychological thriller ‘The Handmaiden’ gained popularity, and (spoiler alert!) sees the two female leads making passionate love, scissoring of course. Even 'Blue is the Warmest Colour', a highly acclaimed same sex coming of age film released in 2013, sees the two main characters scissor.

This idea that "lesbian sex = scissoring" is so mainstream, that I am regularly asked about it by peers (and I’m sorry to have to say this is mainly cis-men, both straight and gay). At one of my first house parties at uni, I felt my cheeks burn in embarrassment as the words “never have I ever scissored” echoed around the room, and all heads eagerly turned to await my reaction. As the only queer womxn present, I disappointed everyone when I did not take a sip of my drink.

Having slept with womxn for nearly 10 years now, I can confirm that I have only had one scissor experience when I was very drunk. Honestly, I have never had the urge to try it again, nor have I ever been asked to try it again. This led me to believe, scissoring must be a myth, right? 

Do people actually scissor, and if so, what is it actually like?

I’ve asked this question to some fellow queer womxn (cis and trans gals from different cultural and ethnic backgrounds) and I must say, the answers are a 50/50 split (pun intended).

Lesbian, New Relationship, 20s

I think it can be great with someone you’re really connected to, but it’s quite hit and miss. I find it hard to get the right pressure, so it just feels too sensitive. I prefer being sat up facing each other if I was going to do something like that. Also getting into position can be awkward so you’ve got to laugh about it and not take it too seriously.

Polyamorous Bisexual, Married & Dating, 20s

Scissoring can be super fun and a great way to connect if both people enjoy it, but I also think because of porn aimed at straight cis men, it’s often what heterosexual people think two people with vaginas having sex is, when of course scissoring isn’t the only way to have fun. I’ve had male friends ask me questions about scissoring – “do you really do it?” which is often accompanied by “how do you have sex?”

Lesbian, Single, 20s

Never works, it’s never comfortable, and like ok it can feel good, but it’s not really comfortable for the hips.

Gold Star, Married, 50s

Yes, I have heard of it but I can’t say that I’ve had much experience and I’d probably have to google it to find out how to do it…

Bisexual, Dating, 20s

It doesn’t work and is basically impossible to feel good. Also, think about it, you’d basically have to have someone’s foot in your face and I do NOT do feet.

Bisexual, Long-Term Girlfriend, 30s

This kind of illusion of scissoring and my personal account in reality is very different…

It was so awkward, I didn’t feel comfortable with it, I didn’t really understand it and then straight away I personally didn’t get any pleasure from it and the positioning... You kind of put one leg over each other and I kind of leant back on my arms and so did she and kind of like, went at it that way, and it really hurt, I didn’t get any pleasure, and then there was like muff rash and I instantly got thrush, so it was a no from me really. I don’t scissor at all.

It’s not a common thing, anal is more of a common occurrence than scissoring. So yeah, I think it’s another patriarchal, heterosexual pressure and image that’s put on porn and real queer womxn don’t really do it.

Bisexual, Engaged, Swinger, 30s

For me scissoring is the ultimate intimacy with a woman. The actual feeling of their clit rubbing on mine is such a turn on. But compared to porn, I find it feels better nice and slow, lights on and plenty of lubricant. I like to be able to see our pussies kissing.

Lesbian, Single, 30s

As a person with a long-term health condition, scissoring is off the cards when I'm unwell as I find it too physically demanding. But if I'm well enough, I can really enjoy the directness of the sensations, the wetness that can  build up between you, and the position of my lover's legs around me. 

So there you have it, real encounters from real life gay girls. Scissoring seems to be the marmite of queer sex and although the answers are divided, overall scissoring does not happen as often as everyone seems to think. Even the womxn I spoke to who do enjoy it, only scissor occasionally and it is not part of their regular routine.

I am tempted to give it another go, and if you are tempted too, the best advice to take away from this is to use lube and remember, sex is fun and can be awkward so just have a laugh when you inevitably get that hip cramp.

What are you experiences and thoughts on scissoring? Drop a comment below!